Chapter 12 - MY SLAP
The prosecutor reviewed my slap to Marlene.
Video from the hallway? No camera inside study.
My statement.
Lily’s statement.
Marlene’s admission that I struck once.
The question:
Was the force reasonably used to stop immediate harm to Lily?
Prosecutors declined to charge me.
I felt relief.
Then discomfort.
I had hit my mother.
The legal conclusion did not transform that into a good family memory.
Therapist asked Lily:
“What did Dad do?”
“He slapped Grandma.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Good.”
My stomach tightened.
Then Lily said:
“Then scared.”
Both.
I talked with her.
“I hit Grandma because I thought I needed to stop her from holding you.”
“Was it okay?”
“The police decided I didn’t commit a crime.”
“That’s not answer.”
Six-year-olds can be brutal.
“I think getting her off you was necessary. I also don’t want hitting people to become how we solve things.”
“She was hurting me.”
“Yes.”
“Then hit.”
I chose carefully.
“If somebody is hurting you, you can protect yourself and get help. Once you’re safe, we stop.”
She nodded.
Simple enough.
I took a parenting course for families after domestic violence exposure.
Not court ordered.
Useful.
One lesson:
Children may imitate the protector as much as the aggressor.
I watched my temper more carefully.
May you like
I had always thought violence was something other men brought home.
One slap taught me humility.
